By Frank Golden
My personal path to parenthood has not been easy. This is partly because I’m a gay male, but even more so because of the life circumstances leading up to the creation of my family. I went through a period in my life, an exceptionally melancholy period, in which I questioned my meaning, my purpose in this thing called life. I had recently lost a series of close family members and friends. And after my brother’s unexpected death, I fell into a particularly deep depression. My mom and I were the sole survivors of our entire family; we only had each other, and our bond grew strong. In my mom’s eyes, I saw such sadness and such love. Her’s were the eyes of a parent in mourning. I knew then that it was my responsibility to have a child, to carry on our bloodline. This period of my life, albeit painful, changed the way I viewed the world, and ultimately led me to where I am today.
When I met Adam, I made it clear that I wanted a family. For gay couples, and for all couples, really, this is a conversation that needs to happen. As our relationship got more serious, I began thoroughly researching Surrogacy. My mind was set: we were going to create a family, and we were going to do it with the help of a Surrogate. I wanted to expand my lineage, not as an attempt to recreate my brother, but as an attempt to honor his memory. Most of all, I wanted to do it for my mom and for the son she lost.