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By Frank Golden

Going into parenthood as a gay man, I understood that my children would have an upbringing different than other children and different than my own.  There were things I just didn’t consider, things that heterosexual parents don’t have to think about. Mother’s Day is one of those things. For us, Mother’s Day is not the celebration of our children’s mother; they don’t have one in the traditional sense of the word. Rather, Mother’s Day is the celebration of their family. Our children are being raised with two dads. For the most part, being a gay family has been natural. On certain occasions, though, we are reminded of how truly unique our family is.

When we enrolled Sophia in daycare, Mother’s Day was not on our radar. We emotionally and financially prepared for our family, much like other families. We also prepared for the adversities our family might face. We were prepared for it all- except for Mother’s Day. It was just one of those things you don’t think about as a new parent, but as your child grows and learns, so do you. And once Sophia and her classmates were old enough, the daycare addressed Mother’s Day, and as a class, they made gifts for their moms. I should say, most of them made gifts for their moms. Our daughter did not.

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By Bridget Bolthouse

I’ve always had a passion for family. My husband and I have five children all under the age of 11. I love everything about motherhood. This is not to say that things don’t get a bit hectic at times- because they do. It’s just that the love I feel for my family is beyond anything else, and I can’t imagine life without it. I feel blessed to be a mother, a parent. And really, parenthood is just that- a blessing. I want to bless deserving individuals with their own families. I want them to feel the love I feel every day. Becoming a Surrogate was an obvious choice.

My husband, Adam was the first person I told about my desire to become a Surrogate.  We’ve always had an honest relationship based on strong communication. A few years ago, Adam was in the military and was away from our family. Even then, we managed to maintain our communication. We make all decisions as a team, and this decision was no different. Adam had questions and concerns, as did I. We carefully researched and discussed every aspect of Surrogacy prior to coming to a decision. With our questions answered and our concerns addressed, we began getting excited for the journey ahead of us. Adam firmly believed, and still does, that being a Surrogate is my calling. I wholeheartedly agree with him.

As parents, Adam and I cannot make decisions without the consent of our children. We wouldn’t allow for our actions to upset or confuse them. Beyond anything else, their feelings mattered. Adam and I sat down with the kids for a family talk. We began by explaining that some families need help getting started. We explained that because we love our family so much, we want to help other families grow. We told them that I could help by growing a baby in my tummy. My kids were interested and wanted to know if the baby was going to live with us, or essentially, if the baby was going to be their new sibling. We explained that the baby would not live with us nor would it be their sibling, that it would live with its family. We reminded them that mommy is going to grow a baby in her belly for a different family, not ours. We discussed the types of situations in which a family might need help. We explained that some families have two dads, or a single dad. We told them about moms who are unable to carry their own babies. We enjoy opening our children’s minds to all kinds of possibilities and all kinds of love.

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