On February 6, 2025, Lily Collins shared the news of her first child’s birth with a heartfelt Instagram post: “Welcome to the center of our world, Tove Jane McDowell.” While this announcement should have been met with excitement, the conversation took a turn. Why? Because Lily and her husband welcomed their daughter through a Surrogate. Like clockwork, the internet did what it does best: jump to conclusions. 

“So, you just bought yourself a baby?” 

“Having babies shouldn’t be like placing an order on Amazon.” 

“Yikes. How disappointing.” 

These are just a few of the countless negative comments that flooded the post. While many shared their congratulations, the negativity was hard to ignore. But the backlash didn’t end there. Across social media, people speculated about why she had chosen surrogacy. And, as always, the same tired myths about surrogacy resurfaced. 

But here’s the thing, Instagram comment sections are not built for nuance. And surrogacy? It’s nothing but nuance. 

Why Surrogacy Triggers Such Strong Reactions

We’ve talked before about how surrogacy is so much more than a transaction, about why people choose this path to parenthood, and about the strong, compassionate women who choose to become Surrogates, not because they have to, but because they want to. And yet, no matter how many real stories are shared, people still reduce it to a cold transaction or an easy way out.

So, instead of another blog debunking these myths, let’s take a step back and explore where these assumptions come from, and more importantly, what’s the truth? 

The Power of Media and Hollywood

To understand why people react the way they do, we need to acknowledge how much the media shapes our views. If someone’s only exposure to surrogacy is through celebrity headlines, it’s easy to see why they might think it’s a luxury for the rich and famous, a way to skip the less glamorous parts of pregnancy and “buy” a baby instead. 

Hollywood plays right into this, often portraying surrogacy as a shady transaction or a dramatic plot twist. These exaggerated portrayals miss the real, often complicated reasons people choose surrogacy, no matter how wealthy they are or how many red carpets they’ve walked. 

The Weight of Cultural Expectations

But it’s not just the media that shapes perception. Our cultural beliefs about pregnancy and parenthood play a huge role too. A lot of people believe pregnancy should only happen in the “traditional” way. 

Does this sound familiar? It’s because this kind of pushback isn’t new. Look at how people reacted to I.V.F., adoption, or women’s rights to make decisions about their own bodies. When someone makes a reproductive choice outside of the norm, it challenges those deeply held beliefs, and for some, that’s a hard pill to swallow, even when it doesn’t affect their lives at all. 

The Role of Money in Surrogacy

The topic of money and choice also plays a huge role in shaping opinions. When people hear about compensated surrogacy, their minds often go to the worst-case scenario: a financially struggling woman who does it because she is desperate for cash. 

These concerns come from a place of wanting to protect women, but they overlook the reality of modern surrogacy and the reasons behind Surrogate compensation. The truth is, compensation is for the hard work Surrogates do and the very real risks to their bodies, not the reason they choose to become Surrogates. 

So, What’s the Truth?

With all the media hype, cultural beliefs, and the uncomfortable topic of money, it’s no wonder why so many people get surrogacy wrong. Yet, too often, the conversation is taken over by those who’ve never met a Surrogate, don’t understand what a G.S.A. is, and probably still think surrogacy means “giving up” a child. 

So, let’s break it down. 

The Truth About Intended Parents and Their Choices

When people say surrogacy is just for celebrities, they’re only seeing what the media highlights. In reality, Intended Parents come from all walks of life. Your neighbor, your coworker, or the parents at school pick-up could all be going through their own surrogacy journey, and you’d never know. Surrogacy isn’t about avoiding stretch marks or morning sickness; it’s a deeply personal decision driven by infertility, age, medical conditions, same-sex couples, or pregnancy risks. In fact, reputable agencies like Golden Surrogacy have strict guidelines to make sure Intended Parents choose surrogacy out of necessity, not convenience. 

And no one, celebrity or not, owes anyone an explanation about their medical choices. So, comments like “Why couldn’t you just have a child yourself?” aren’t just misguided, they can hurt. Your friend dealing with infertility? They’ll feel every word. 

The Truth About Surrogates and Their Choices

When it comes to concerns about Surrogate compensation, let me make something clear: just because a Surrogate is compensated doesn’t mean she’s being exploited. This narrative ignores the informed, empowered decisions these women make about their own bodies. They are women, already mothers themselves, choosing to help others experience the joy of parenthood, and calling them “desperate” or “poor women doing anything for money” isn’t just wrong, it’s insulting. Before they even become a Surrogate, women go through an extensive process of screenings, including counseling, medical exams, and independent legal consultations to ensure they’re making an informed decision. These steps happen long before pregnancy is even on the table. Yet some still question if these women deserve a monetary benefit. 

Compensation isn’t why women become Surrogates. It’s a way to recognize their time, effort, energy, and sacrifice. Just because they’re compensated doesn’t make their decision any less valid or genuine, and assuming that money is their only motivation misses the bigger picture entirely. Just because you wouldn’t become a Surrogate for any reason other than money doesn’t mean you can make that assumption about others. 

The Truth About Surrogacy

At the end of the day, surrogacy isn’t about the headlines, the rumors, or the loudest voices in the room. It’s about real people making decisions that are right for them and their families. They aren’t villains or victims; they’re parents, mothers, and professionals. Surrogacy is not a cold transaction; it’s a deeply personal journey built on love. 

To truly understand this, we need to look beyond the noise and listen to the stories of those who have lived it. As Lily Collins put it: “Words will never express our endless gratitude for our incredible Surrogate and everyone who helped us along the way. We love you to the moon and back again.” 

It’s time to stop making assumptions about how others should build their families and start respecting their choices, no matter how different they may be from our own.