If I had a dime for every time someone asked, “But isn’t the Surrogate the baby’s real mom?” I’d probably have enough to start a campaign that says, “No, she’s not.” The myths surrounding surrogacy are more than just a source of frustration, they can also be damaging. These misconceptions create stigma, spread doubt, and often overshadow the beautiful, life-changing stories of families being built.

In a previous Surrogacy Talk, we addressed some big myths like “surrogacy is only for the wealthy” and “Surrogates are only in it for the money.” In this second part of our series, we’re diving deeper into the most common misunderstandings about surrogacy. It’s crucial to address these myths, because when it comes to surrogacy, accurate knowledge is everything.

Myth #1: The Surrogate Is the Baby’s Biological Mother

This one comes up a lot, and it’s just plain wrong. In gestational surrogacy, the Surrogate has no biological connection to the baby she’s carrying. The embryo is created using the Intended Parents’ or donors’ genetic material, not the Surrogate’s egg. So, there’s no biological link between the Surrogate and the baby.

To understand why this is so important, let’s break it down: gestational surrogacy is a highly coordinated medical and legal process. The Surrogate’s role is to carry and nurture the baby during pregnancy, but biologically, the baby belongs to the Intended Parents, not the Surrogate. This is why terms like “gestational carrier” are used to clarify the Surrogate’s role in the process.

Myth #2: Surrogates Can Change Their Mind and Keep the Baby

Some people worry about this, but it’s simply not true. In gestational surrogacy, legal agreements are in place well before the pregnancy begins. These agreements spell out parentage clearly and protect everyone involved. Since the Surrogate isn’t biologically connected to the baby, she doesn’t have any legal claim to custody.

In fact, parentage is typically filed with the courts long before the baby is even born, leaving no room for confusion or dispute. Surrogacy is built on trust, transparency, and a shared understanding between Intended Parents and Surrogates, and the legal process reflects that. This should put to rest any concerns about custody or parental rights. Surrogates are incredibly dedicated to their journey, and the emotional and legal frameworks surrounding surrogacy are there to ensure clarity for all parties involved.

Additionally, at Golden, we require that our Surrogates have already completed their own family-building journey before they decide to help someone else. Do you really think she’s not busy enough with her own family? As much as she loves helping you create yours, she’s not interested in continuing to grow hers, especially with a child she has no genetic connection to.

Myth #3: Surrogacy Is Only for Infertile Couples

This couldn’t be further from the truth. Surrogacy is an incredible option for so many different people such as LGBTQ+ couples, single parents, and even those with health conditions that make pregnancy unsafe. As someone in the LGBTQ+ community myself, I know firsthand that in some cases, surrogacy can be the only way to build a family.

It’s not just about infertility; it’s about helping anyone who needs a little extra support to create the family they dream of. Surrogacy is about inclusiveness, making family-building possible for people from all walks of life. Whether you’re in a same-sex couple, have struggled with infertility, or have a medical condition that makes pregnancy risky, surrogacy opens up the path to parenthood for everyone. This process truly is a testament to the power of modern science, medicine, and human kindness.

Myth #4: Surrogacy Isn’t Natural

Let’s tackle this one head-on. Saying surrogacy isn’t natural is not only wrong but also incredibly hurtful to those who rely on it to build their families. Sure, it’s not “traditional,” but that doesn’t make it unnatural. The process still involves the biological creation of embryos, fertilization, and pregnancy (all natural processes).

Suggesting that a Surrogate’s journey of carrying and birthing a child isn’t natural diminishes the incredible effort and love she pours into the experience. Surrogacy is a life-affirming, beautiful process that brings people together to make dreams come true. Whether it fits someone’s traditional mold or not, to say surrogacy isn’t natural is to ignore the very essence of what it is—an act of selflessness, love, and support.

Why Busting Myths Matters

At first glance, these myths might seem harmless, but their impact runs much deeper. They create stigma, add emotional challenges for Intended Parents and Surrogates, and shape how society perceives surrogacy in ways that can be both unfair and hurtful. Misconceptions don’t just confuse, they influence public opinion, often leading people to make snap judgments about something they don’t fully understand.

For Surrogates, these myths can undermine the incredible generosity and dedication they bring to the process. For Intended Parents, they can add unnecessary emotional weight to what is already a deeply personal journey. Addressing these myths isn’t just about correcting falsehoods, it’s about fostering empathy, respect, and understanding in a world where surrogacy is becoming a more viable option.

Education and Advocacy

The best way to dismantle these myths is through education. By sharing thoughtful, accurate information, we can build greater understanding, acceptance, and support for everyone involved in surrogacy. At Golden, we believe in leading these conversations with honesty and clarity to break down misinformation and promote a deeper appreciation for the surrogacy journey.

Beyond education, advocacy plays a critical role. Misconceptions about surrogacy don’t just affect personal opinions, they can influence laws and policies, making it harder for families to access this life-changing option. That’s why it’s so important to challenge false narratives, promote fair legislation, and create a system that supports Surrogates and Intended Parents alike.

Every surrogacy story is unique and deserves to be celebrated, not overshadowed by stigma. By combining education with advocacy, we can ensure surrogacy remains a path filled with hope and possibility for those who need it most. Whether you’re just starting your journey or have been part of this incredible community for years, we’re here to guide, inform, and celebrate with you.