Waiting can be one of the hardest parts of becoming a parent through surrogacy. You may be ready to move forward while matching, clinic appointments, or legal work follow a different timetable. Frank understands that feeling from his own path to parenthood. The short video above draws on that experience.
A useful plan gives the waiting period some structure. It helps you separate the work that needs your attention from the decisions that belong with your Care Team, fertility clinic, or attorney.
Name the stage you are waiting for
“We are waiting” can describe very different situations. Waiting for a match is different from waiting for records, medical clearance, a completed agreement, or a clinic appointment. Ask which milestone is next and what has to happen before it can be completed.
Keep a short note with three items: the next milestone, the person responsible for it, and the next planned update. This will not make every step faster. It will make it easier to recognize progress that is happening behind the scenes. Our guide to Surrogate matching timelines explains the matching stage in more detail.
Make communication useful
Golden’s commitment to responsive communication is central to Frank’s message in this video. He describes a response in 30 minutes or less. During onboarding, ask your Care Team how that commitment applies to your contact channels and how to reach the appropriate person when a matter is urgent.
A response and a completed answer are sometimes different things. Your team may need a clinic or attorney to resolve the underlying question. Ask who is following up and when you can expect another update. That is more useful than having to repeat the same question to several people.
Give yourself manageable tasks
- Keep requested records and contact information organized so you can respond when they are needed.
- Write down questions as they arise, then group routine questions for your next conversation.
- Review the current Intended Parent requirements and discuss anything that could affect your readiness for matching.
- Agree with your partner or support person about how often you want to talk about the journey. Leave room for other parts of your life.
Avoid borrowing someone else’s timeline
Another family’s experience can offer support, but it is not a deadline for yours. Clinic schedules, matching preferences, and individual circumstances differ. If an expected date changes, ask what changed, whether it affects later steps, and what you need to do now.
You do not have to be upbeat every day to remain committed to your family-building plans. Tell your Care Team when the uncertainty feels difficult. If you would like additional emotional support, ask about a reproductive mental health professional who understands this process.
The wait after embryo transfer
Once a transfer is complete, follow the clinic’s schedule for updates and testing. Ask the clinical team which date is the next meaningful checkpoint and how results will be communicated. Give yourselves a plan for that interval rather than relying on comparisons with another family’s experience. Your Care Team can help coordinate communication while clinical questions remain with the clinic.
